Trampampoline??? your odd... well im getting my internet service switched tomorrow so i might not be on in a while. i dont know how long it's goin to take.
-StEpH

"nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success, yours or his..." i got that from matts msn name...

Hey. Im back on. I tried to go to sleep but i couldnt.... to many things going through my mind. I just got on and msn kicked me off so im playing games on yahoo with a robot. I didnt eat much all day and now im making it all up: popcorn, cookies, grilled cheese, and ice cream. Thats all in the last hour. oops, hehe. well Im off to bed again. goodnight
-StEpH
ps. I really dont think not talking to noelle or derek is going to solve anything but its up to you dan

so many words... but they dont form a sentence... guess it means i have nothing to say...
"tears are just unspoken words"

I sit and think
Of how it'd be
If all of you were to leave

I feel a tear run down my cheek
At thought and fears of loneliness
What if I had to loss it all
Had to watch as you faded away

Despite the awful things I've said
Regardless of the world around
I know that my life would end
If I had to say goodbye

As i see the quiet streets, darkened windows
And snowy lawns
I thank the lord tthat you are
At home with a pillow under your head

I'll continue to keep my heart closed
but know that you are my life
And if you all were to leave
I'd die inside my head

My friends I love you all
though I'll never tell

*I wrote that last devember, just thought it might mean something to someone if they ever got to read it, Noelle*

All my life I have gotten extremely close to my friends, i love them all, and i would die for any of them, cuz my friends are all i have indefinately, and I have never let them leave, which i have learnt is not always the best thing. i've never had a million friends or been very popular, but the ones i do have are special....Sara, I lost her for a few year when she moved to Toronto, then after a few years she came back...Diana, I only see her every now and then since she's gone to an art school and moved out of walking distance, and i don't like that, i think i have lost her alittle... Zoe lives in Bc, but so far we have been great seeing each other all the time when she's here, cept this summer i fucked it, but i'll do better at x-mas...Peggy i lived with her told her everything, saw her everyday, but she doesn't like me anymore and tho i still try to talk to her, she has decided i'm not good enough for her...Tyler, well tyler is stil around but we were closer before we both draw back on things we do, i don't know why, and i cna't fix that because even if i tel him everything it's not like he really listens....Kim/Kristy, well they left with kevin, what more is there to say on that one, even didn't think of them for a minute...tiffany is more of just my note buddy of sharing secrets with, never really out of school...And dan, I could prolly have travelled the world with and never gotten bored, or ever worried what he'd think, not once, but that will dwindle away with time i bet...And look forgot richard, 9 months of everything imaginable to go through, yet faded away into nothing like everything else,should i let him go too... I have learnt that i can't force ppl to stay that i can't make things go my way, that when they do, never to give up, and take what i can get out of it...Sara's still sround and i'm glad she lives back here now, I'm glad zoe still wants to come visit her dad, just to hang with me, I'm glad Diana still will call me when i need to talk out my thoughts, I'm glad that tyler still around and we don't hate each other for everything that happened, i'm glad peggy is decent and says hi back to me, i'm glad tiff is still accepting notesm glad that richard was in my life, and i'll never forget how much he cared, and how much i needed him at one point, i'll never forget kim/kristy listening to my cry bout kevin, and not just pushing me away when i had noelse to talk too, I'm glad that Dan let me get close enough to love, liek all the rest. But when everything is said and done i'm thankful that i know that i was loved throught out my live if not anymore it was there at different times, that live changes and with it i take my past and learn for the futur to learn to keep my friend close to my heart, and I will always love all of you, always, and in my bed at night on a very quiet night i will rember you ,and i will cry for the lose i have suffered. Maybe one of you will be tyhere till then end, to share my heart with but if not there will be new ones that will finish with me, you began it, and they will finish it. i will always have a prayer for all of you, from past present and futur, to those I love...

I'm still offering you friendship if you are willing to take it...Tho i fear you won't

yeah well i could really use some happiness, because all the people that used to make me happy and the people that i trusted to stick around for ever and bring me that happiness are gone... At least you have happiness... how ever long that might last, either way your happy... and i guess that matters... bye

may you all find happiness that will last a life time....good bye

Fine hate me, hate derek, even tho he hasn't done anything, but maybe you should be thinking bout you you really should be hating, think about the spot you put me in tonight while watching triple x, i said i couldn't so you tried...i'm sry if i've driven you that far

well another day comes and goes... and my life goes down the shitter again. sorry steph... but yeah thinking about noelle again... really getting to me... i wish things would really change... i dont like the way things are... why does life have to be so difficult... why cant i just leave... i want to leave but i cant... i want to leave her... i dont want to be around her cuz she wants to be with derek... and i cause to many problems for her... cuz she has to worry about hurting me... and then shes scared that derek wouldn't do anything cuz of me... so basically i stand in their way... so its best for me to go... she wants to be with derek so much... ARRRGGGG i hate him...i hate her... why does she have to do this to me... for fuck sakes... where are you when i need you... where is everyone... i have no one... so fucken alone.. the only other person i have shed this many tears over is laura and i was with her for 9 months... noelle i have only closely known for 1 month... why does that seem so wierd... why shed so much over her... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME... SOMEONE HELP ME!!!

***Noelle I Suggest You Do Not Read This Post***
***Same Goes For You Steph***
***And If You Do, And You Dont Like What Is Written, Then It Is Your Own Fault, I Have Warned You***

well another conversation with derek that left me alone and broken hearted... things are really started to get to me... with the succesion of each and evry day comes more and more bad news and i just dont know how much i can put up with... my gums are still bleeding and its been like 5 hours since the operation and its really starting to bug me.. i look like a chipmonk carrying my food supply for the winter... anyways yeah back to my sad depressive life... derek and i have nothing to say to each other anymore... we kinda just dont have anything to say... its all ackward between us... too bad i was starting to consider him one of my best friends... but i can see that the ackwardness is going to cause problems... i talked you kathleen today... she had nothing good to say except that i should tell noelle how i feel about her but i already have tried that... i dont know what else to do... i guess i have finally lost... lost her for good... all i can do now is make a toast to derek because he has the ability to be with someone that is truely great, richard also said it... he said noelles is fucked up but shes still great... Now i know derek cant read this blog... but still heres a toast to him... now i will return to what sad existence of a life i have good bye.
-Daniel Roland Martin

GOOD LUCK DAN!!!!!! It's not that bad really. By the next day you'll be back to normal
-StEpH

I found out the reason msn isnt working, my mom put up this damn firewall and i cant use msn on this computer. I have to use it on the slow ass computer upstairs. Im downloading it upstairs at the moment its 50% done and when i get on i hope people are on beacuse i havent talked to you guys in a long time
-StEpH

Always kept in my heart, forever....

i dont know whats going on in this world... all i know is that you like derek and it really bothers me... thats about it... i dont know why it bothers me so much... i mean i haven't really been around you that long... since the begining of school... but something most be making it bother me so much... could it have to do with the way i feel... i dont know whats going on... i wish i did... i wish nothing was going on... i wish i knew what was going on in dereks head... i wish i still had a chance... i wish i could be with the ones i love... "nothing else matters." this week is going on so slowly.. yet its already wednesday and i have the operation tomorrow... i wonder how will it go... will they fuck up and cause my jaw to be permentantly numb... you know life is one big question and surprisingly its not why are we here... but what are we here for... what is our purpuse... without purpose we are nothing... everything has a purpose but what is mine? Everything happens for a reason.. but what is the reason for these events that have befallen me in the last few weeks... what is the cause... what did i do that shit likes this seems to happen to me... i think that the big question is not so much why are we here or what we are here for but "What is the reason...?" apply it to anything... always ask your self what is the reason... you know i believe that i do my best thinking when i am depressed... you should see some of the shit that i spew out of my mouth... some of it written down... some of it lost in time... with most of what is valuable to me... "I'm here without you baby, but your still on my lonely mind, I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time, I'm here without you baby, but your still with me in my dreams, and tonight its only you and me." so many songs run through my head... they keep up with the thoughts of you... the questions that come with you... the pictures and images of you, your smile, your eyes, your orange hair, the way you make me smile by just looking at me... i try so hard to not show emotions but i cant keep them in forever... as i slowly drift away... remeber the times we have had, remeber the fun we have shared... remeber the glances, the ice cubes, the movies, the giraffes, the blue puppys, the bunnies, the smiles, the laughter, the being bored together, driving my car, remeber alaska, remember the stupid things i have said, the smart things i have said, the sweet things i have said, and even the harsh things i have said, remember all that was us... remeber all that is me, as i slowly drift away.. "this is my december, this is my time of the year, this is my december, this is all so clear, this is my december, this is my snow covered home, this is my december, this is me alone... and i just wish that i didn't feel like there was something i missed, and i take back all the things i said to make you feel like that, and i just wish that i didn't feel like there was something i missed, and i take back all the things i said to you, and i'd give it all away, just to have somewhere to go too, give it all away to have someone to come home too."
-ciao

Whats going on in this world, does anyone know...?

i am drawing alot of blanks... i wish i still had my flash program that way i could do some creations...

i see, poor you... i haven't talked to you in a while... anyways i did have this long post that i was gonna post to this blog cuz i wrote it out in math class today but at the moment noelle has it so i'll do it later... or maybe not... it was kinda one of the spur of the moment things...

FUck! I'm So fucking screwed for school, i REALLY gotta get my ass in gear this week and get my shit together!
~Noelle
p.s I feel out of the loop, never had a tooth pulled....tho i think i'd like to keep it that way

My msn is fucked!

hehe nice i just have friday off... and then hopefully i dont go to school on monday... but i have to write my data maganagement test at some point when i come back i talked to the teach about it today and i have to go in at 8:00 on monday morning. he asked if 50 mins is enough and i told him that it should be cuz the stuff its pretty easy... and he kinda looked at me weird and said that the people that think its easy are getting 90s and i'm only getting an 80... either way i think its easy and the shit is pretty straight forward... so its ok... then next week i have to hand in my ISU essay i forgot when she said i ahve to hand it in i think on the 8 of december so thats pretty good... on the first of december i have my data management ISU due and i haven't started that yet so i think i'm fucked... oh well i ahve all weekend to do it... anyways i'm gonna get off here.. and leave you with this quote that i came up with its probably already on here somewhere but here it is again... "Friends come and come... but the ones you want to stay always leave"
-caio

I dont think you will want to eat dan, Im in pain right now and its been like 17 hrs. I havent ate since yesterday. The IV was fun though cuz after they put it in i kept laughing. And i woke up twice during the operation but i didnt feel anything so i just went back to sleep. now everytime i drink sumthin It tastes like blood. and the bad thing is they took all four out. Im wide awake right now because I slept ever since i got home. and when you get home and your still numb, blood runs down your chin and you cant feel it so watch out for that. By the way, Im off school the rest of the week for Thanksgiving.
-StEpH

hey i'm getting mine removed on thursday... GO US!!!... hehe i just found something out.. dereks making chicken casideillas on friday for foods and i want some.. but i cant drive for 24 hours after my operation so i think i'm gonna have to walk my ass to school for some food... hehehe... anyways yeah i'm on my way out to eastsides... cya

MOO And QuACK

BAH!

Im going to my appt. to get my wisdom teeth removed. I have to leave in 20 mins. for some reason Im not scared..yet
-StEpH

well today by my own doing i finalized the end of me and noelle... by telling derek how she felt about him... probably the dumbest thing i have ever done... but hey it was the least selfish thing to do.. i dont know how this is gonna effect me.. but i dont seem to care as much cuz its derek i mean i am still jealous but derek is a good friend and i'm not gonna let this come inbetween us... i dont know what else to say except yeah i'm gonna miss some things... like after school... watching movies... taking her up on her dares... or just trying to prove her wrong... oh and then drawing on graph paper i'm gonna miss that too... life goes on... life has to go on... it might feel like life is over but this has happened before and i'm still around... so it cant be that bad cuz i know i always get past it somehow... just takes time... except this time i dont have the trailor to go up too... so i'm stuck here in ajax having to deal with seeing noelle and derek together... if they get together... either way still hurts and i cant avoid it...

"everynight in my dreams, i see you, i feel you..." - My Heart Will Go On - New Found Glory

well I got in trouble so im grounded from the computer bye bye

Just put on a happy face,
Take your dose of Valium for the day
Take in all the emotion you can,
Store in your chest, keeping a constant seal
When you need it most take a drink

Slowly let yourself go
As you take a shot or two
Throw away your dignity
Leave it at the door

Let out all your bottled fear
In an organized rage
On the people you do not want to lose
On all your friends, the ones you need
Next think you know, you are cold and alone

You are right Dan, women are useless...cheating lying fucking whores...I always end up right back where i started , how ironic...i think i'm going to puke...i'm glad you have a friend in alcohol...Would you prefer to going back when everythign was unclear...Is everything still unclear...it's bullshit...I've waited all my life for the day when love appears, like a fairy tale in days gone by he will rescue me from my fears. And now i fell him standing close to me, and how can i tell him what he means to me, my heart stands still has he come?....all bullshit...obviously...every night i think of him here in my lonely room, waiting for my prince to come wondering if he'll be here soon, and i sit patiently waiting for someone and i hope that his heart longs for mine, he calls my name is he the one...trust, hope happiness, truth, love, peace...is this the moment i dream of, tell me is he my one true love, how will i know, will his love show, is he my one true love...all lies made up to satisfy our useless existance...Same thoughts, same fears, same hidden away tears...Anger, betrayal, guilt...you, me, them...US...Blackness, and it ends, given up on life, given up on hope, given up on self

so many thoughts going through my mind... yet such emptiness in my mind... kinda of odd the way it works... here i am again alone... before today at least i wasn't quite alone there was chances and my fears were not confirmed... but not that they are i am truely alone... my only source of comfort is a 40oz bottle of rum... but it cant keep me company when i'm puking becuase of it... next weekend christina has a hockey tournament in whitby and i think i'll be pretty much spending the weekend with her, draging brooke along as well... cuz i know christina wants to see her... it'll be good to see some people from the summer... i discovered today that because the park is closed during the winter, thats how me manage to stay friends with everyone up there... and its also good that not everyone is up there all summer and also during the week cuz we would start to get frustrated with each other... anyways that was a side note.... gtg now... good night steph, good night noelle...

well i found out what i wanted to know, even though it doesn't make me happy at all... but actually quite the opposite... either way... i give up... fuck trying to find someone to be with... even when i let them come to me they leave and end up liking someone else... so fuck it... women are useless... might not have left because of liking someone else but at least i would still have had a chance... so fuck it.

I still cant sleep!

I found a kool website:
chris.com

and than go to ascii art

Yah I know what u mean, I cant trust girls either. They gossip. That's why guy friends are better. I went to a party tonight and got pushed in the pool. It was so cold and I was pissed because I had my sweater on and jeans and it was cold out! the party was over at 1 and i was pushed in at 10 so i went home and changed. There lucky my cell phone wasn't in my pocket or i would have killed them! My friend is spending the night and she's asleep in my room. I couldn't sleep because I'm wide awake. Me and my cousin are talking about moving in together when were older. We want to move to oshawa or London.( this is a different cousin not the one who yelled at Dan). Well my dad called tonight and he said he got me something really cool for christmas. I think its a new dirt bike cuz ive been asking for a new one forever. If it is i hope its purple. Man I keep having dreams about me working at home depot. that is what i have dreamed the last 2 nights. i don't think that's gunna happen though because i cant stand that store! well I have talked to much about boring stuff so I'm gunna go watch Rose Ann. {*GoOdNiGhT*}
-steph
ps. whats up with your name dan (there, im kicking myself you happy now....?) wow, this is my longest post ever!:)

lalalala

well, yet another evening i sit here and dwell on the thoughts that pass through my mind, and once again i find these thoughts seem unfit for this blog... they are thoughts that are ment to be kept to my self... sorry guys... it seems as time goes by i am starting to close my self off... I dont seem to be sharing as much as i used to... might have to do with the issue of trust and who so many people have betrayed my trust i dont know if i can trust others... laura had a huge problem with that, cuz i couldn't trust her... its not that i dont trust her, its that i dont trust women. I dont even know why i am talking about trust cuz that has nothing to do with what is going on in my head, wait maybe it does i'm not sure... anyways it seems i'm getting alot said about what is going on without actually saying anything so i think i'll shut up and go to bed... good night, and to those i care about sweet dreams...
-Dan

wOW, you were writting that as i was picking up the phone kewl. Newaz i'm trying to figure out whats going on , cuz i just want out of this house, maybe i'll just end up getting my mom to drive me to yuor house dan, but i will call you once i have found out, derek is trying for the van, and Sara is actually on telling me bout her mad cookie making, but that means i'll be feed all week:D. Oh steph i have a dalmation shes so cute, i want cats but my parents don't like them, and dans is so cute but he is shy, always runs from me but not so much nemore. I like big dogs, i'm gonna get huskies when i move out, heheheh, newaz i'm gonna bother derek, and see whats going on....i may coem back and post if i can't get anywhere
~*Noelle*~

Back off I'll take you on, Headstrong to take on neone, I know that you are wrong, Headstrong, Headstrong...I see your fantasy, you wanna make it a reality baby

well... i'm back... its been awhile... i haven't been on much in the last week, meh. Well i'm tired i'm going on two hours of sleep 6:00am till 8:00am its quite refreshing... yeah i was up till 6:00 just sittin in my basement watching tv and playing video games... one can get really hooked on them... anyways yeah last night i didn't do much... i got home from dinner and went out to see ang and pam... pam had her friend derek over when i got there... we got bored so i figured may aswell be bored with more people so we went and watch dude wheres my car in dereks basement... not pams derek but the one noelle and i know... i got your message noelle, i got it on my phone, but i wasn't sure if i should call richards cell and ask for you... that might not go over well... so i just left it... i wanted to come online when i got home but guess what my dad was defraging both computers so i can't get on... and guess what they didn't finish till 6:00am... and then shit got all fucked up again so we had to do it again... and here i am... bored as fuck... stuck in my video game and waiting for noelle to give me a call cuz she said she would... hmm mabye i should call her... lets try... so far no answer... oh there we go...
-ciao

Hey, I havent been on in a while. Last night i spent the night at my friends house and i slept walked! It was wierd cuz I remember falling asleep in the living room and i woke up and i was in her room. It was so freaky. Well my sister has some friends over right now. what kind of dog do you have noelle? My dog is a golden lab and he eats everything. I wanted a little dog. I have two cats but they stay outside most the time.

Well well well, Leslie left so i got basiclly no ne to talk to...i'm gonna get real bored real fast. My hand is frozen, and i'm struggling typing, kinda sux, and from this stupid chair, my back is fucked up, but mainly the right shoulder blade. I don't feel like sleeping tho, or really reading either so maybe i'll end up joining the dog on the couch and watch beauty and the beast or robin hood or petter pan, u know a classic, wish i had dumbo tho...Maybe i really will do that, i could cuddle with the dog and blankets and stay warm, and come back on closer to dawn when i'm warm, maybe i could sneak out and watch the sun rise, that'd be kinda kewl...i like being outside bymyself at dawn or dusk, very peacefull and relaxing.... i just got me a blanket, it's got holes in it but atleast it'll be warm, i wonder what my mom would do if i sleep on the couch with the dog.... i'd be up to watch morning carttons and maybe even make myself pancakes, or make dear old dady do it cuz his are way better:D. hehehhe, i'm such a geek, hehehehe. Sigh, I guess you guys are tucked up in your beds sleeping under warm covers(blue for dan) havee dreams of friends and shit like that , lucky......Score the heater just clicked on...Wow, it's so tit nipply in here, it needs better insulation in these walls, bah damn card game i just can't seem to win and my hand is still frozen and the heater now clicked off, ah poo, well enough for now, hope you r having good ngihts, i'll be back later.
~*Noelle*~

Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine
Little one when you play
Don't you mind what you say
Let those eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine
If they knew sweet little you
They'd end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd give just for
The right to hold you
From your head to your toes
You're not much, goodness knows
But you're so precious to me
Cute as can be, baby of mine

~*Noelle*~

As I ran, draw me to your arms....

Wow, no one has posted since this afternon? how was your diner dan? i had an ok time bowling but i'm heading uot to start reading now, l8s
~Noelle~

well its whatever you feel like, and what ever would be more comfortable to you...

as time gets closer, the move to canada has been on my mind a lot .. and Im having a lot of 2nd thoughts... I wish this decision wasnt up to me cuz I dont know what to do!!!

-§teph

Noelle: "Why So Glum, Chum?"
Dan: "Because Someone Put It In My Bum!"

Life is so odd, first I'm told it'd be better not to see Him(tyler) then he invites me over.......When i get something, i don't want it, when ii've lost it, i do, when i need it, it's not there, when i hate it, it's always around......Yeah i really know what I'm talking bout don't i...love............I liek the songs Dan, interesting choice with the lyrics.......guess i'm gonna jet.....

i agree that one should every now and again stop living to please others and make yourself happy... cuz whats the point of going around living your life unhappy... i think we all have said things and not said things in the last two days that we are going to regret. dont worry noelle... things will get better... things always work out... i dont quite seem to understand what you mean by "will our friendship survive Dan, or would it be saver to leave it be..." I also dont know if you will ever find out how much you care about richard... you might and that might not come for a long time... i only really realized how much i cared about laura after she was already gone... its the way things seem to work... you dont know what you have until its gone... and as far as you being in love with someone else i also have my ideas about that as well... there are some people that i think could make very possible candidates... and i think you also know who i am talking about... because there are times were i have asked the same questions about someone i know very closely... A question that is lingering in my mind is what have you said and what haven't you said in the last 2 days... and if any of it has to deal with me... then i would like to know cuz its probably either gonna make things better or make things worse... and either way i have a right to know... i believe that it is better to be hurt now that later... why wait to just get hurt... it makes no sense... the sooner it happens that sooner it can be dealt with...



"I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me"
- Here Without You - 3 Doors Down -


"It's like love, some people get it
For some it's just a glove that just never fitted
For me it's just a pain in the ass
But i'm addicted to the taste of hopin' it could last"
- Lonely World - Limp Bizkit -


"Tell me what it's like to be with you
Remind me of the things we use to do
And tell me that this time will never end
Tell me what it's like, tell me again"
- Tell Me - Goldfinger -

"Hab' nen Luftballon gefunden
Denk' an Dich und lass' ihn fliegen"
- 99 Luft Balloons - Nena -

In the words of one, stop living to please others, and try to make yourself happy for once....but can I.........I hate seeing the ones i love hurt....like Tyler but if i try to help the way i want, i just make it worse with old memories.......Will our friendship survive Dan, or would it be saver to leave it be.......Will I ever know how much I care bout Richard, do I love him the way Dan thinks, or is it someone else.......Do I know who I really love, or is my mind really that messed right now, I know i have said things, and then not said things in the last 2 day that I'll prolly end up hating myself more for......sigh, guess i should go read and see if i get any sleep tonight.....
~*Frozen*~

No one bited back as hard on their anger/None of my pain and woe can show through

Why is it that when i have no one to hold me, out of all times, i cry real tears.......

Well i got to see my parade today, guess thats makes me happy:). And i got to drive Dan's car, now thats having faith, I'm so glad i didn't accidently kill it ..... newaz, yerah i dunno....
~*Tears Frozen In Ice*~

well 100 pages done... 300 left to go... with only 3 hours to read it.. i cant read that fast.. maybe i can read 40 pages in anh hour.. but thats about it... anyways byebye

Im still babysitting....they were supposed to be home @ 1

last night me and my friends walked around my block and i met a guy named booty!

well... i started to read that book for english today... and in 3 and a half hours i read 18 pages, and well slept for 3 hours... it was a good little nap. Anyways so yeah as it stands i have to have this damn book read for tomorrow... and the book is 300 some odd pages.... so yeah can anyone see a problem... cuz i think i can. Last night i got no sleep, spent the whole night up thinking... so i think i deserved my nap today. I'm proud of myself i haven't drank since thursday, but i have had ample oppurtunity. so tired even with my nap... :(

well it seems that everyone seems to be at a lose of words, lately... and pretty much the same goes for me... well with the exception that i dont have all the answers yet.. but the ones that remain unanswered so far seem to be the ones that will remain that way for a while... and less of course some action is taken... then obviously i will have the answers i am looking for.... anyways hehe 3 hours of sleep....

Tears Frozen In Ice

im soooooooooooooo bored

Today is the worst day... lets start from this morning...
i really didn't feel like getting up this morning, and i didn't feel like going to school... i had this bad feeling hang over my head all day.... then i was tired all morning... lunch was ok.. not the best but ok... then during spare... noelle breaks up with me... i spill my fries at wendys... my batteries ran out for my walkman... when i got back to school i had to wait in the fuckin cold for 30 mins cuz the bus didn't show up... and just now i spilt beer all over my self... and now i cant type cuz my hands are frozen.... so yeah all in all this is a very bad day...

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

Discover... L-I-M-P
I....

No one knows what it's like
To be mistreated
To be defeated
behind blue eyes

and no one knows how to say that theyre sorry
and dont worry
i'm not telling lies

but my dreams
they arent as empty
as my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
my love is vengence
that's never free

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

- Behind Blue Eyes, Limp Bizkit

Don't we all Dan.....it's hard not to feel alone sometimes.....

man, i dont know why.. but i should be pretty happy... i mean right now things are going pretty good... but for some reason i still feel alone... with no one around me... no one there to help me when i need it... sometimes i feel like i talk to myself... and whats sad is i dont even respond to myself... "But my dreams they aren't as empty, as my conscience seems to be..."

THUNDERSTORM

Hast Du etwas Zeit fuer mich
Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich
Von 99 Luftballons
Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont
Denkst Du vielleicht grad' an mich
Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich
Von 99 Luftballons
Und dass sowas von sowas kommt

Do you have any time for me
then i'll sing a song for you
of 99 air ballons
oh your way to the horizon
are you thinking of me right now
then i'll sing a song for you
of 99 airballons
and that something comes from something

AH its hot here!Its 30. My msn works fine but my kazaa is gone. i think my mom deleted it but im pissed cuz i had a lot of songs on there. I hope i can find them. Tatoos are kool
- StEpH

Well, finaly got onto MSN, but now i should be getting of so i can go to sleep, well read, and i hate it when ppl ignore me................Newaz, i have a cut on my hand and i think it's from a poppy, those things are dangerous. Well i'm gonna jet. TTFN
~Noelle~

interesting Dan....

mmm interesting i cant seem to sign in under my own name either... something must be wrong with msn... well i guess i cant bug people online now... so i must resort to posting in this blog... so here goes.... listen up spicy food makes you shit... dont forget that... and also dont forget the really spicy stuff burns twice... thats right you guessed it going in and coming out! thats my little spiel on spicy stuff. No to go on about the german song... i take it you guys haven't out what it means yet... and urrghhh spicy food makes tummy and intestines act funny... and i still cant get into msn... Anyways on a brighter note.. i got my air miles card yesterday... haven't used it yet but going to really soon... next time i have to fill up my gas tank... you know what sucks those easy pay tags from shell require a credit card... do i really want to sign up for a credit card yet... anyways today i have been pondering on tattoos... and the fact that i'm german... i think the two can go hand in hand... like maybe the german flag on my arm or somthing like that... you know what i mean... of course the flag has to look cool, and i'm imagining it has to look like its waving in the wind... dammit msn... dammit stomach.... dammit winamp... dammit stomach again... spicy food gives people the runs... :( i think thats enough ranting so i end you with this quote from a song i heard for the first time yesterday... and i like it, cuz i have blue eyes.. The song is called "Behing Blue Eyes" by Limp Bizkit.....

No one knows what it's like
To be mistreated
To be defeated
behind blue eyes

**NOTE** i dont mean anything by this quote i just like the song.... so i'm not in a depressed mood... actually i'm pretty good...

*grumble* stupid net kicked me off so my post from b4 got ruined and i can't sign onto MSN under my name, can under Sara's but m ine ain't working, stupid piece of shit......
~Noelle~

im home alone 4 once. I luv being by myself sometimes, I can blast the music without being yelled at. I got no sleep last night cuz david had a party next door and i could hear people laughing all night. me and lexi went over 4 a while and than we went to see scary movie 3. I luv that move have u guys seen it? well I m gunna get off 4 a while byebye
-StEpH

Well as far as my expertice(not) knowlegde goes its just the 99 red ballons song, so I don't hink we have anything to worry about steph. I feel ike and old person, i'm sitting here in my eeyor pjs with a blanket on to keep my feet warm, dunno but makes me feel old, or i just feel old..... Sigh, Nonne of my friends are on to talk to pll under the other list but none of my 'friends' not one, not Diana, Meaghan, richard, Bobby, kyle, MAtt, Tyler, Dan, ZOe, Sara, or dferek or even stpeh, so sad, and i'm messing up my keys not being in order but i'm too lazy to go back and change them. Newaz my mom wants me off the net now, so i'm gonna go finish readign my book, then maybe get some sleep. Night guys. And of course TTFN
~Noelle~

ah! whats all that?? ((hes probably talking about us)) jk. :-D well sorry my cuzin threatned you Dan. shes crazy. well Im dont have ne thing to talk about
-steph

Hast Du etwas Zeit fuer mich
Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich
Von 99 Luftballons
Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont
Denkst Du vielleicht grad' an mich
Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich
Von 99 Luftballons
Und dass sowas von sowas kommt

Well you guys have so much to say it's interesting, I have nothing, my brain is stuck again. so i guess that means TTFN
~Noelle~

Yeah that sucks for your friend. I get the day off on friday its a P.A. day.... Oh Noelle I found out Kyle cant go go-karting cuz he won't have the day off... But I mean there are plenty of candidates to go... Leslie's girlfriend cant go, money issue... Same with Scott.. I don't know about matt he wasn't here today... umm Derek is fine... Matt should be ok if he isn't in barrie and if he is we gotta take Derek's van. Anyways my brother is sick and he has tonsillitis and I don't know if its contagious. So if I get it no one can come see me cuz I don't want them to get sick... Hey if I had SARS I'd go to school cuz that would be funny but this isn't as funny... So yeah I don't want anybody to come around cuz I don't want them to get sick... Well Noelle you could come around cuz you are in most of my classes and you could tell me what I'm missing... But hey that's if I get sick... Wow maybe my brother has to get his tonsills removed... hmm that would be cool.... Well maybe... anyways i'm done for now...
-caio

Not every1 from Texas is stupid. I know I can be such a blonde sometimes but I do pretty good in school :) and i dont care how u drive cuz it cant be anymore crazy than my stepdad. I think King of the Hill Is a discrase! I dont know very many people who talk like that. cuz i live in a huge city. well one of my best friends moved today. her dad is the vice principal and he busted some guy for having drugs and b4 he went off the juvy the kid said "im gunna get ur daughter". thats why she has to move :( I dont see how you guys can type that long. this is pretty long for me. I can only type a lot when im yelling @ someone. If you look @ the lingest post i wrote it was where i was bitching @ dan for telling kate. well I dont have to go to school tomorrow. Its veterans day. and im off to the mall! later
-steph

your welcome to borrow the movie any time you or, you could just come bay and watch it, your welcome to do that too... and that actually sounds like a good idea, go gokarting on friday during the day, i'll talk to matt see what he has to say about it, since you know hes the only other one with the car and i'd rather pay $35 for 60 then $60 for 60 laps.... ah the benifits of going in groups, i missed you online, you went offline just before i came back online.... o well guess i'll just have to talk to you tomorrow... you left trevor all alone at home? i'm disappointed... hes got no one to keep him company, maybe i'll go visit him, bah by this time you and the rest of your family should be home by now... if you want i can go into the santa parade with you... seeing as how sara isn't too scared of me as she is of your toher friends.... but meh thats all up to you... Yeah i'm flustered with that math stuff its really stupid... i dont see why we really need it... it seems like its stuff that one should cover in physics but they didn't have room in the physics course so they put it here. Yeah its comforting to know that you called your pokemon Richard, Dan, Derek, And Sara.... and then you killed them... tisk tisk... richard say anything about me. Oh and yeah i agree Bobby Hill is a loser but things seem to always work out for him... i guess that gives hope to somepeople, people like me... and that show also shows some things about how stupid some people from texas can be... sorry steph just had to be said... but its true for instance that cop that pulled up beside you and lexi driving last night, or should i say this morning, seeing as how it was 4:00am.... i think the cop would have thought of something... or maybe he thought all 14 year olds are in bed at this time so it must be someone that is lega age to drive.. your quite lucky cuz thats a hefty fine, driving underage and without a license.... here they suspened your license for a period of time... that way you cant get it for a with, it happen to my buddys brother. You know him noelle... pelltiers younger brother andrew.... anyways yeah, i think i'm posting a rather long one, and seeing as much of this isn't too too important i think i'll stop that way you dont have to keep reading on and on into something that really isn't going anywhere.. by the way thats not too good that your feeling sick noelle cuz that would really suck.... i think i am sick too... you know cold and all that jazz.... i think i might have gotten it from my brother, or maybe even from you... or maybe i gave it too you, who knows, just get better!
-ciao (P.S. I hope i posted something longer then your post hehehehe)

Sigh, well I'm at my aunts house, and I just finished eating the yummy supper. I feel sick to my stomach tho, and I got alot on my mind.....I was playing pokemon on Jacobs game boy advanced, and my pokemon were named Richard, Dan, Derek and Sara, then i got bored and killed them all:D. Well technically Jacob killed them but whats the difference. I'm older than you steph, and i haven't even driven once, tho I get driving lessons starting on thurs. Tho everyoone upstairs is making fun of the roads not being save, kinda sad cuz I'll be a good little driver until i get my G2, cuz then I don't have to worry about my parents being in the car with me, hehehehehehe! BLAH! I should prolly go back upstairs soon and read so i can just work on my math when i get home. ( hmmmm, my head hurts and I think I'm gonna be sick...) Know what I noticed, Bobby Hill is such a loser and should always get his ass kicked but somehow he always manages to be accepted instead. Newaz, sok Dan you did help, I just wasn't paying to much attention, wasn't to with it. You did have odd timing wit hcoming over but he knew you were coming over so I don't think it mattered much, he was so much calmer then last week........Sigh....... I'm a real oddball sometimes. I'm gonna have to watch the end of that movie since I missed it. Wonder what I can do on friday since we have a p.a day? Either i can head out to toronto and get the piercing, or go kartingthen, since i can't go on sat, but it don't matter much to me. Sunday i get to go to TO again to see the Santa clause parade with Sara, maybe i could get my piercing after that, hmmmmm, wonder if i should drag Tyler or someone with me, since it's not his thing i just might, just so he has to sit through it lol, wait he ansd sara don't really get along, screw that one then.well i have written quite alot, so maybe i'll go and see who's on MSn or call someone. TTFN
~Noelle~

and now i'm back again, just saw Noelle did some math review, quickly went over everything in the chapter i dont think i was much help... that sucks that you have a headache noelle... anyways yeah its cold outside... i rode my ass of twice today to your house andthe first time i didn't even make it to your house... i stopped infront and turner around cuz i thought you were home... i'm kinda glad i didn't interupt you and richard, he might not have been to pleased to see me around. I think he still has ideas that stuff went on while you two were going out... steph i think you should ask noelle how i drvie before you get into a car with me.

and now i'm back and i'm done my data management homework, well i was done about an hour ago... now i'm kinda starting to wonder were everyone is... cuz nobodys home, and no one is online... i feel lonely... oh so loney... i feel lonely and only and sad.... sorry i dont know where that came from, but i think it works, anyways i'm off....
-ciao

November 08, 2003 was yesterday, and that was the day that i was declared very crazy, or very insane... either one works. Thanks for delcaring me insane noelle..... i had a very long post just now but my computer crashed so i lost it all... well it really doesn't matter cuz there wasn't anything really important in it... meh... thats enough for me for now, i'm off to do some data management work...
-ciao

I had the most interesting night!!!! I went iileagel driving with my friend (who is 14 too) I wanted to drive my moms car when she was sleeping and than i chickend out but lexi talked me into it so we drove around for 20 mins and we were switching and than she wanted to go to the mall cuz it was 3:00 and she was about to hit the curb and i was buggin her when a police pulled up right next to us and i was gunna cry!!!! but we made it thru that without getting caught. were so sneaky and it was sooo fun!!! wow, I never write this long!lol. well I g2g ( my heart is still racing!!!)
- steph!

hehe... i dont know what to say but i feel like posting so this is as good as its gonna get... Thanks for watching Die Another Day with me, it was a good movie, and no i wasn't falling asleep you were. ("Happy Happy, Joy Joy, I'm A Kinky Sex Toy, Beat Me, Bite Me, Make Me Bleed, Kinky Sex Is All I Need") Noelle you got that stuck in my head. And i can thank derek for telling that too you.... Although "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, i feel pretty and witty and gay" is much better. Yes go anger management! anyways i think thats enough, i'm going to go too bed...

BAH! I love that word, along with prolly and a few others. And don't mention it Dan, it was a pretty good movie wsn't it, coulda been better, but who cares. It was interesting watching you with stu and john, u r so gay, jks. Are your nipples ok? hehehe, newaz my mom is getting me and my brother skiis for x-maas presents today, it so kicks ass, cuz for once i'll be able to use and love a present they give me, I haven't been skiing in over 4 years, thats so sad.... Tho that does me she's not getting my belly button pierced, guess that means I'm heading out to toronto one of these week-ends soon, to get it done on my own. Wonder if sara'll come and keep me company, cuz i never like gettign lost on my own, it's no fun at all. hmmmm....next week-end could work, cuz we have the p.a day on friday......and then maybe we both can chill at her mothers, or i could do it after the santa clause parade on the 16th......Newaz, I dunno what else to say, so i'm gonna go now, and see if i can do anything entertaining tonight or not. TTFN(no math for me)
~Noelle~

lol. okay i get it.

ok i'll try and explain the post from 4:32 cuz i was the one that wrote it on her arm... Basically i am argueing with my self and my self again. So there are 3 dans in that arguement. let me show you.

I'ma gonna rape you!!
-Dan (1)
Not if i get to her first
-Dan (2)
Oh is that so?
-Dan (1)
Leave her alone she's mine
-Dan (2)
No she's not
-Dan (1)
Yes she is
-Dan (2)
You wish
-Dan (1)
What about me don't I get a turn
-Dan (3)
No!!
-Dan (1) & Dan (2)

all three dans are me, i'm just arguing with my self. i hope that better explains it now... anyways thanks for seeing Matrix 3 with me noelle it was an ok movie, definatly not what i expected. but yeah i guess its time to study for math now...

I dont get the post from 4:32. well I went to the mall with my neighbor and he almost got in a wreck. It was so scary. I dont know who gave him a lisence... well i went to school today even though i had a fever but it was worth it. there was a big gang fight and people pulling out knives and stuff. yah it was pretty interesting. there were so many police people at my school. well i dont have anything else so ttyl.
-StEpH

Baby, you're all that I want/ When you're lyin' here in my arms,/ I'm findin' it hard to believe/ We're in heaven/... And love is all that I need,/ And I found it there in your heart/ It isn't too hard to see/ We're in heaven

I like this song.~Noelle~

I'ma gonna rape you!!
-Dan
Not if i get to her first
-Dan
Oh is that so?
-Dan
Leave her alone she's mine
-Dan
No she's not
-Dan
Yes she is
-Dan
You wish
-Dan
What about me don't I get a turn
-Dan
No!!
-Dan & Dan

It's amazing that you could have an argument on my arm with 3 of you about raping me, you r an odd one dan. And just for your enjoyement Steph, i decided to post it. Woow, english must have been really boring.
~Noelle~

Well if you didn't figure out, I'm down in AR again with Matt, an we are very bored, that he is looking up everyone from spre on the net, seeing if they r there or not. And I'm here again. I did the same for math class, said i was going to Ar, but i went to the library with Dan:D. heheh, wonder if i could get out of english.....I'm eating Hot Tammales, and it's so good, love the way they burn my tongue. I'm actually working on law this time tho, i got a really good site, that i'm shifting tho. awe, all my candy is gone....*pout*, meh oh well. LOL, wanna hear something funny, I've screwing Dan all morning.....sorry if the screw is shrap and pointy, I wonder what table it fell out of, hehehe. It's the greatest thing to say, cuz it sounds wrong. I can't wait to saee Matrix, I wanna see if it really as bad as ppl have ben saying. I think Tylers supposed to be going to see it tonight. I'm going to have to go see it with him later, so we can do our little analysis thing. I know, I'm odd. Bah, my glasses are starting to pinch my nose, it's not too fun, but I need them not to get a head ache if I lean away from the comp. *grumble*. I want out of here now, and i haven't really done sorts of real school work, they, pathetic eh. I want spare, and go play cards or something like that. Bah, my back is really fucked up, these days, i should go to a cyropracter(sp. very bad) or go visit Tyler he usually fixes it for a while. Wel I'm being dragged off my Matt, so guess we are going to the caff. TTFN
~Noelle~

P.s Life with me is always insane dan, learn to love it or lose it (no offense ment, just a warning)

I'm sorry Dan, I know that I was being a complete bitch, I was trying, as you already know, but you needed to realease some tension, more than just hitting your brother. And u think i was being inconsiderate, then I'll let you believe that, it doesn't much matter to me. You ask if it would have been worth it, and my answer stands as last nights, yes if it would have helped you, and made you happy ultimately. I know that doesn't sound like much, and everyone that can read this prolly hates me as is, it's not that I want to loose you, I just wanted to help you....I'm glad that you called me last night so we were able to talk, I was gonna call you but i was waiting fot the house to clear so I wouldn't get yelled at, but I still did around 11:30, that was a really ubrupt ending, that was my fault, Sry. I'm glad you decided to talk to me today, cuz I don't think it would have been anything of a day if you'd ignored me all day, tho I would have deserved it. (awww, Matt's laughing at me, cuz my tongue was bruning from the Hot Tamales, I love it wehn the cinnamon does that. The only thing Valentines day is good for is Cinnamon hearts) Dan I....

'Things sometimes go wrong so that we'll be able to tell the difference when things go right.'

hey guys.. someone tell me whats goin on :s sorry i signed off so fast dan. i thought my mom was coming. well i think im gettin off ttyl
steph

noelle, i hope your extremely happy... you got what you wanted me to be utterly pissed at you... and would it really have been worth it to lose me over something as fucken stupid as this. noelle you drive me insane... and i dont take back what i said you were acting like a complete inconsiderate bitch...

There's pain inside
I can't understand
There's hate in life
That will not go away
There's pain inside
I cannot live with it
It feels like no one
Really understands
- "Pain Inside" - Adema

yeah i dont know whats wrong today, but i have this feeling that something is wrong.. and its been on my mind all day... and i dont know what to do about it... sorry if i'm not talkative today... and while you posted noelle i was editing that post.

WOW, very talkative today aren't we...
~Noelle~

nope she doesn't..., but ang does, shes still part of the blog, she was a long time ago and kinda stopped posting. Anyways my ideas still seem to be floating around my head. i really like this adema cd, i am so glad i got it. i dont have much to say today except the fact that i have stuff to do tonight so i might not be online that long cuz i have to do this stupid shit. anyways thats enough of a post for me today...

Will you walk me
To the edge again
Shaking lonely
And I am drinking again
Woke up tonight
And no one's here with me
I'm giving in to you
- "Giving In" - Adema

Hey guys Im bored. Dan does kate have the new site? well Im getting off ttyl
-steph

Well I'm in the Ar room supposed to be doing law ISU stuff, but meh. Obviously i'm not:D. I don't really have anything to work with so i come down here and make it look good. hehehe, I have Dan's keys, and that means he can't get into his house if i don't give them bakc, wonder if i should....hehehe, think i win. Oh look matt is showing me were Jordan is, thats a kewel game thingy....Yeha Matt is here in AR with me cuz we are lazy bums. AHHHHHHHH! one of the AR teachers keeps grabing one of the guys nipples and we are getting creeped out, lol wich bring up Dan grabbing Matts.....OI! very odd. Bah! I'm bored and there is still 20 minutes, left, my note to Tiffany isn't even half way done yet. GOD! these ppl are dumb, they just let the phone fall off the table, god dunno y i evr come down here, they really are stupid ppl. Meh what can you do. Newaz, Wow, thats wrong Matt just said put it iun your mouth and blow.....hehehehe, its alitle noice maker, but it sounds so wrong. I have to go see a shrinkish type person today after school, which is gonna be boring as usually, think today we'll see if i can scare her with phsyco babble. OOOOOOOO, puddle of mudd is coming out with a new cd in 3 weeks:D can't wait:D. ehehehehe, sp special i get to go to ar, hopefully mr.caron don't ask for the info i's supposed to be getting.:P Ouch, my lower back is killing me, and it really hurts:( but i cna't do anything about it, it sux. Oh i got muddy yesterday and it's all over my coat sleeve, but thats ok, right Dan? I'm gonna go now, and bother Dan and them during kuch and spare, if i don't go all out of it again, cuz t may happen,but who knows
~*Noelel*~

Sigh, life sux sometimes, haven't gotten my turn at the shower yet, means i'm the last and prolly be really cold water.....ppl just seem to be getting on my nerves lately, and i dunno why, i'll prolly get in shit for being back on so I should go, so i guess i'll and read for english. Maybe get around to gettign a turn to shower. Yeah it was a nice walk, tho a little muddy, and thanx for the cd.
~noelle~

well today was pretty good, i got some CDs, and i bought finding nemo... but my mom wants to give it to my brother for christmas but i wanna watch it tomorrow with you noelle... it was a nice walk along the beach... that was pretty cool. And it also sucks about the fact that your bike got stolen... hmmm you could report it into the police... they might be able to find it... why would someone steal a bike that was locked up at the back of the school that just baffels me. I feel really down in the dumps right now and i dont know why. hmmm leslie still has my booze maybe i should get that from him... that would be a good idea seeing as how i dont have any here at home... well i have beer and mikes hard but thats different. there are so many thoughts going on in my head and i'm not sure if they are ready for the blog yet, mainly because i haven't figured out what they mean. i think i'll leave it at that and go to bed. anyways i'm going to head up and go to bed.
-ciao

BAH! So who is this Jay fellow? lucky you, I houlda done that then my bike couldn't have been stolen. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. Now there isn't a bike big enough for me or trevor, thats just fucked! Holy Shit, I'm SOOOO far behind in school it ain't even funny, i'm gonna have to go see english teacher, then Law, and then catch up in math before the test, guess my week-end won't be too intersting, then again when are they ever...Minus the go karting, that was fun. i don't remeber what i was gonna say so i'm going to talk to ppl then go read......hopefully.
~*Noelle*~

hey guys.
I stayed home today. so did jay and kate so it wasnt as boring as i thought. I know I said that i didnt want to come to school on wednesday but i really dont feel good. Im not just faking it. Now jay has the site for the blog. i didnt give it to him and when i asked him how he got it he said he hacked into my internet explorer. Like i belive that.. well I g2g enjoy my day off bye bye
-steph

bah i just missed you... not fair... i was being lectured about school, and what i'm do in life, she thinks i'm gonna end up being some homeless, pennyless drunk, cuz i hang around with matt and all them, and i drink with them. What does she know. It all started when i was being yelled at for not getting a tutor in english.. see i dont need a tutor i'm just dumb, and there isn't anybody can do about it. english is a dead subject to me... its useless, i cant do it... and to get into brock i dont even need it.. so if brock doesn't need it then i'll take advantage of that.. plus i dont even know if i want to go to university... i mean, i'm too fucking young to know what i want to do... i just want to life as much of my life as i can right now before i get stuck in a dead end job.... well not even dead end job.... but a job where i dont want to be for the rest of my life... i'm not ready yet to grow up... i'm too young, i want to enjoy myself while i still can....

BAH!.........................................................................
~Noelle~

I got finding nemo!well my friend david watched some of it with me but my bro is in town so he ditched me. well im getting back to the movie. bye bye
steph

Well Dan looks like i missed you again by a few. You seemed really giddy, that was odd. Canoeing is...intersting, depending on how bossy the ppl who are steering are. I'm watching Star Wars cuz that movie kicks ass , and thebn I'll be forced to watch the other ones after, but i think of of the tapes is broken:S. Newaz i beat my mom home, so i didn't even get it getting dark lecture, but she is planning on putting me on a nother pill, and new pne that supposedly doesn't have side effects....I hate her. And Dan you prolly still haven't read that piece of paper have you....gah! I'm going back to my star wars or hmwk i'll have to decide soon. TTFN.
~Noelle~

yeah, noelle steph and i are going on a canoe trip, well not really, shes just throwing my in a canoe and then pushing me out to sea. what did i say in the car as i dropped you off. Wait nevermind i think i know what i said and yes i did mean it. cuz you are. hehe, anyways i dont know what to say at this moment, so i'll post later.

yey canoe trip, sounds fun. school sucked today. my friend ryan took a picture of me on with his phone and i look posessed and he showed everyone. ah! :o well im gotta get a ride from david, were goin shopping
-steph

Uh, hi, i never got around to what I was gonna say, I have the Adema Cd, and I love some of those songs, and there is one from the 2nd CD that kicks ass, just like the lesbians:P. Sorry, newaz I hope you had a good day Steph even if you had to go to school, I got to go on a boring field trip, oh and i should give matt 4$, hopefully i remember. Thanx for helping me with the Math Dan, and hopefully tomorrow night I can catch up on the hmwk. Uh, I'll get going now so I can shower the writing off my arms, cuz it's everywhere, and before I open my mouth too much again...maybe i'll get rid of the previous post thingy......I'll talk to you guys later......
~*Noelle*~

AH FUCK! I missed you by like 10 minutes Dan....*pout*.....my mom just wouldn't get of the phone. I didn't get any homework done, I just couldn't concentrate, stupid family I hate them all, except for Trevor, even the dog bothers me. I just want to get as far away as possible, as soon as possible. I'm getting a job, and paying for driving lessons, then i'm gonna save everything, and get the hell out of here. I don't need anyone, I can do it on my own.....I don't need the moral support, or someones hand to lead me around. If I want it I can get it myself without anyones help......

I miss you Dan.........Did you mean what you said in the car before you made me leave? Or were you just saying that because I said you were hot? Cuz you honestly are. You're tall and have a nice body (athletic), broad shoulders, like your brother said 'big' but in a very sexy way, strenght but not overly toned, dark curly hair with contrasting baby blue eyes, an amazing smile, a perfect nose, and that cute little scare on your cheek is to die for....uh i think I'll shut up now

Wow i have almost had this blog for a year, through that time it has gone through many changes, it has seen many people come and go. The only person that is still around now from the beginning is me, and then during the middle, those people aren't around either anymore, now its you two, and i hope you guys stay. Anyways Noelle tomorrow during spare we have to go and get the first Adema CD it kicks ass. I love "The Way You Like It" & "Drowning" & "Skin" & "Givining In" Meh i like most of the songs on that CD i have them all on my computer. I Always had Giving In but i never had any of the others, until today, i just felt like downloading them for no reason, and i think it was pretty smart idea. anyways thanks for coming by today, it was good. I'm getting offline now... i'll see you in the morning. Oh and steph... canoe trip.... possibility... we'll see how things go next year...
-ciao

Everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Preoccupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well ya shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well ya shoved it my face

Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

And you could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well ya shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well ya shoved it my face
This pain you gave to me

Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you when to run away
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you when to run away

Explain again to me
Explain again to me

ok sorry, but just so you know i didn't tell kate everything, i only siad one thing, and that was why she called noelle a bitch, and then i left she didn't een respond.

i dont think that about her, and i didnt say that I will even send u the conversation! dont drag me into this cuz i dont even know her well enough to say that. thats not what i think of her and i never said ne thing bad about her. I asked u to keep a secret and u cant so y do i even bother!!! i didnt ask u to keep quiet if u wanted to! i just asked u not to tell but 4 some reason u felt u had to and now when i talk to u i am going to wonder what you are telling other people. just hold it in dan, u dont have to blow up at everyone. and kate thought the conversation was just between me and her so you dont need to be mad at her because it isnt her fault... the bottom line and the reason i am mad is because u told her everything... why do u feel u need to tell other people stuff that doesnt have to do with them? I think you are mixed up a little bit because i wouldnt call noelle a bitch. from what I know she seems nice. okay im going to the air show ill be on later to get this straightend out but i think me and u need to talk to kate. bye the way i told noelle whats going on cuz i thought she should know

ok you know what steph, i dont quite appreciate katyln talking shit about people, and i'm sure i'm gonna confront here about, cuz whats the need to talk shit about someone she doesn't even know. And steph if thats what you think about noelle then thats fine.. but at least have the decensy to say it to her instead of talking shit behind her back. i thought you would have learnt something his year about talking about peoples backs. It happened all year at the trailor.. and i'm sure your name came up a couple times... with people talking shit about you.... anyways last night was a waste, i didn't feel like drinking but to please matt and them i took my booze along... i didn't drink... the fire sucked... and then i had to go at 3:00am cuz my mom called... i'm sorry noelle, i'm not good, definately not good enough for you..

Guess I really shouldn't ask.............*tisk*tisk*, and yes she is. Newaz i feel sick so I won't blab on this time.
~*Me*~

dan u promised!!!:( ur word means nothing anymore.... i cant trust u to shut up about one little thing. "ill tell you right when I find out" .... that was what u said. No wonder u think u seem to hurt people everywhere you go! If you want to talk about it just email me
(and Evanescence is kool!)

:(Y does every1 have to talk bout Richard.......I think I'm gonna go insane soon.Sigh, Why can't I ever like one person at a time, It'd make life sooooooo much easier for me, for every1, god forbid more than 1 like me, they are all crazy.....grumble,grumble,grumble..........Stupid ppl, stupid life, stupid love, stupid booze, stupuid boys. STUPID, GAY ASS SHIT! Ah just fuck it all, I'm going to bed, why wait for company, I'm not that important for them to come talk to me, prefer to get drunk...........grumble,grumble,grumble.......


FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK DAN! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK DEREK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK LIVING, AND TRYING, IT AIN'T WORTH IT.............

gaHI've been left on my own, they all went back to Dan's house to get drunk, and I get to sit here and be hyper with notin to do. Well i guess atleast I had fun, Danm Derek tho.....BAH! and Dan just leaving me, oh well I guess I'll go listen to my new cd, Evanescence , I think she's cool so everyone else can go jump of a cliff, L8ts.
~*Me*~

MOOWAHAHAHA! i had fun last night, it was interesting, PORN STORE, lol, Dan you should really watch what you say. I didn't get up till like 12:30 today and didn't get out of bed till after 1, thats a first for a loooooooong time. It was nice minus the fact that it ws Richard that woke me up at 12:30.....My ear hurts, and I don't know why, but I wish it'd stop. I just finished baking 6 dozen cookies and the laundry but my mom keeps taking over everything. it's so much easier when she isn't interfereing in everything. Hmmm....I'm bored again......guess i should go get dressed and the go do something till later. I'll c u later Dan, and have fun babysitting Steph.
~*Me*~

i just got home. im so tierd! nothing really intersesting happend. i went to a party down town in a hotel. i left kinda early tho cuz i was tierd. my msn is fucked. It wont let me check my email with out going to hotmail.com and it wont let me look @ any profiles. o yah and i used my friends costume. i was foxy cleopatra from goldmember minus the fro. lol. well Im goin to sleep
happy halloween!
-steph