well another day comes and goes... and my life goes down the shitter again. sorry steph... but yeah thinking about noelle again... really getting to me... i wish things would really change... i dont like the way things are... why does life have to be so difficult... why cant i just leave... i want to leave but i cant... i want to leave her... i dont want to be around her cuz she wants to be with derek... and i cause to many problems for her... cuz she has to worry about hurting me... and then shes scared that derek wouldn't do anything cuz of me... so basically i stand in their way... so its best for me to go... she wants to be with derek so much... ARRRGGGG i hate him...i hate her... why does she have to do this to me... for fuck sakes... where are you when i need you... where is everyone... i have no one... so fucken alone.. the only other person i have shed this many tears over is laura and i was with her for 9 months... noelle i have only closely known for 1 month... why does that seem so wierd... why shed so much over her... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME... SOMEONE HELP ME!!!