Leslie, I appreciate your advice. My uncle gave some similar advice. And although I recognize it as wisdom, it just doesnt fit with the way I feel. My issues with my father are complicated. But I don't care about him at all. I grew up letting him know that I wanted a better relationship with him but he didnt change his ways. So eventually I had to give up to protect my own emotions. I am quite comfortable with cutting him from my life and I can live without ever forgiving him. My hatred for my father is the most synical thing about me and its unfortunate that it turned out this way. But I'm strangly comfortable with it. He's in the hospital again now. But this time my mom isnt staying there with him due to this SARS crap. So no getting drunk at my house like the last time this happened.